Monthly Archives: March 2013

HARPER PARTIES HARDER AND CROWE THE ASSHOLE

Israel Fights Swarms of Locusts

Maybe that’s God’s way of leading the Palestinians out of the promised land.  Maybe after the frogs and rivers of blood and the death of every first born child the Palestinians will finally escape.  Maybe then they’ll end up taking over Egypt after the Israeli Armed Forces are consumed by the Red Sea in dogged pursuit.  Maybe then Israeli’s will realize that they are NOT the chosen ones and learn to understand how dangerous that kind of thinking is.

Hugo Chavez Dies – Harper Gets Hammered

“At this key juncture, I hope the people of Venezuela can now build for themselves a better, brighter future based on the principles of freedom, democracy, the rule of law and respect for human rights,” Prime Minister Stephen Harper publicly stated.

What he didn’t publicly say was that he and his Conservative cronies were gonna party their arses off to celebrate what they considered to be great news, in fact he was probably already hammered.  Harper can’t wait for Venezuala to go back to an American backed military junta who squeezes the working class until they are squished into the pulp of absolute poverty.

Harper proves that he can’t resist the chance to take a shot at someone even after they die, it’s in his Conservative nature to make every thing he can a political opportunity.  He can’t just shut off that instinct to spew double speak, hand out rhetoric and rewrite history.  He is a true fascist, everything single thing is political to him if not for sale.

I juxtapose Harper to former Prime Minister Chretien, not because I liked the liberal leader but because it exposes the villainous thought patterns that consumes the current federal ruler.  What did Chretein say about Hugo Chavez?  He was qouted as saying Chavez was colorful and unusual.  That’s quite the political stab eh!  Chretein must have spent hours thinking that one over.

“Always Chavez tried to have normal elections. Some people would say it was not completely normal but it was much better than other countries that were officially communist,” Chretien said.

Wow, is Harper ever a bastard!  He can’t just let a guy die and say something benign, he has to politely trash everything the guy stood for because that guy happened to be a socialist leader.  Jean Chretein on the other hand says something nice even agreeing that Chavez’s influence was profound and important to Latin America.  The difference between the two Prime Ministers is ideological in it’s core, Chretein would try to see things for what they are whereas Harper would rather force opinion at every opportunity.  Anything with a taste of socialism to it is an enemy of the extreme right wing, there is no compromise and there is no democracy shaping their policy.  There never was.

The Tories are kinda like political locusts eating money, jumpin on everyone and are entirely incapable of listening or consider the merit of conflicting thoughts!  And…They are everywhere!!!  I’d rather have locusts than Tories.  I know what my quote will be if Harper dies prematurely.  It will sound like this, “At this key juncture, I hope the people of Venezuela…I mean Canada…can now build for themselves a better, brighter future based on the principles of freedom, democracy, the rule of law and respect for human rights.”

Toronto/Chicago

They may have a better hockey team…but Toronto is now winning in the population category.  As of today there are something like five less assholes in Chicago than Toronto.  Clearly Toronto is booming!  Toronto is now the fourth largest city in North America with 2.79 million inside it’s proper borders, but when you look at the GTA on the whole it’s a massive wide reaching smog choked abomination.  The only thing bigger than the GTA is that Star Wars city planet.

Regardless of how poorly designed the suburban districts are Toronto happens to be a fun city where you can get any kind of food you want at any hour of the day.  The difference isn’t lost on those who landed in Vancouver, went barhopping and could only find crappy pizza at 11:30 at night.  Vancouver will tell you what an awesome city it is, but it won’t feed you much after 8pm.

There are a lot of good things about the big smoke.  Toronto has never been attacked by locusts, giant animals, dinosaurs, aliens or terrorists.  It’s safer than Florida!

RUSSELL CROWE – ALIEN FIGHTER

Russell Crowe posted a video on youtube this week that he claims is an alien UFO flying around his office in Australia.  Apparently he was disappointed that the aliens did not accept his challenge to come out and fight.  This is the same Russell Crowe who was rescued by the coast guard, who fights people on the set of his films and tweets about circumcision.  This was the same Crow who claims to have been nearly killed while hanging with a crooked cop who made illicit street drugs so that he could ‘develop a character’ for a movie.  I guess getting high on ice could do that, could also make you see UFO’s eh Russel.  You fuckin whack job!    Every paparazi in the world has been stalking him to answer the biggest question of our times which is; why is Russell Crowe such an obnoxious asshole?

IKEA – BAD FOOD AND WORSE FURNITURE

If you liked horse in your meat balls you’re gonna love their fecal infested almond cakes!?!  If IKEA can’t make quality furniture even though they are a distributor of such goods then why would anyone expect their food would be much better.  Strike TWO…let the recalls begin.


FLORIDA SUCKS

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/03/01/florida-sinkhole-under-house.html

If you take the time to read the above quoted article you’ll learn how this dude was just sitting in his bedroom down in Florida when suddenly the earth opened up swallowing him and much of his house.  This is nothing new, in dudes county alone there’s been more than 500 sink holes since records were kept in 1954.  Florida is one of the heaviest developed states but is geologically highly dangerous, if you were to google images for ‘Florida Sink holes’ you would find dozens of images of destroyed houses.  This happens all the time.

As I sit here in the Cariboo Mountains today amidst the 5th consecutive day of snowfall I take some comfort in stories like this.  People from Florida would think I am nuts to love living at mountain elevation enduring 6 months of winter at minimum and the heaviest snowfalls on the planet.  Sure, it’s not 90 degrees every day and there’s no bikini contest happening right now up here but we learn to deal with the winter enjoying our quiet, our low crime rates, our relatively benign weather and the relatively safe societal conditions we enjoy.

Consider what it must be like to live under the threat of catastrophic hurricanes every second year, the most lightning strikes per capita on the planet, a murder rate that makes Regina look like pacifist central, tornadoes eating houses, alligators eating children, sharks eating children, embarrasing sports franchises and now we can add to the list SINK HOLES that can eat houses and children too?  I think more Canadians are murdered in Florida than in Winnipeg.  What else is going on down there that we don’t know about?  If the notion that Florida is paradise is obviously a lie created to protect their tourism industry then what else aren’t they telling us.?  I mean….Isn’t Florida where the terrorists learned to fly airplanes?  With all those senior citizens the rate of heart attack, madness, slow line-ups and bad driving must be through the roof.

Speaking of bad driving…my friend Dwight Scott Wolf, a Prince George radio personality, just reminded me about the International Drivers Liscence Canadians must pay for now when they drive in Florida.  It’s a tax grab that can’t possibly encourage Canadians to want to drive as a means of travel to get to Florida.  Add one more hazard to visiting Florida, getting arrested for not having a SECOND driver’s liscence…cause one liscence isn’t enough.  Who are these money grabbing people in the Department of Transport and what are they up to? They appear to be experts in un-safety, they themselves know wha a dangerous state they live in!

The Florida Department of Transportations website claims that some of the hazards of living in Florida also include wildfire, floods, dam failures, heat wave, drought, cold, earthquakes, chemical spills, terrorism, radiological emergencies and also lists ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE?  I didn’t make this up, go see for yourself (http://www.dot.state.fl.us/emergencymanagement/hazards/hazards.shtm) and it’s linked to the Centre For Disease Control’s website!  Zombie Apocolypse?  WTF?  No one mentioned that on those convincing commercials that have contributed Canadians shelling out thousands for a day at Disney World!  Maybe we have eight feet of snow on the ground but there’s no fuckin zombie apocolypse and no sink holes slurping down my home.

In light of this latest sinkhole disaster I have to conclude that FLORIDA SUCKS.  I’ll stay right here and save my money.

 

FOOT NOTE:  Two days after this blog was published two Toronto senior citizens were found murdered in Florida!!  DOWN WITH FLORIDA! 

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/03/06/toronto_snowbirds_pichosky_and_wise_asphyxiated_in_condo_florida_police_reveal.html


Mike Richards, Streamhunters, Snowfall, EI, Maple Leafs and MORE!!

MIKE RICHARDS IN THE MORNING

Here in the mountains of British Columbia we live under the most intense snowfalls of any where in the planet resulting in a lot of local cabin fever.  Without snowshoes, skiis and snowmobiles there aint a whole lot to do.  There isn’t even pond hockey to be played, despite the fact that the lake has been frozen since late November the ice is insulated by the deepening snowpack which means it’s not good ice.  For people in the geology business, like myself, there is no field work to be done so we sit in our offices working on projects preparing for the big thaw.  There’s been one thing every day I can rely on to get me through the stuffiness of indoor living, that’s the Mike Richards show on TSN Radio out of Toronto.

Comedian Mike Richards runs a first rate sports show, it’s been recognized by the brass at TSN who have now put one hour of the show on TSN Television 2 everyday.  Highlights of the Richards show include a gamut of hilarious impressions of sports figures like Teo Mato’s girlfriend, the evil Jerry Howarth and segments like Bob Cole’s Chicks I Like.  When hockey analysts come on to the show we are treated to the most hilarious theme songs specific to each guest.  If you are a Toronto sports fan head to tsn.ca and check out the Mike Richards podcasts, they are addictive!

STREAMHUNTER.EU RULES

If there’s a sports game televised somewhere in the world and you aren’t privvy to the broadcast you do have options.  Streamhunter.eu broadcasts nearly every sport on the planet free of charge.  Of course you do have to deal with a certain amount of pop ups and advertisements, but eventually you learn to accept that this is how we are able to watch these games for free.  It costs money to run websites and have access to televised games, so learn to love the pop ups.  If there’s a game that you want to watch all you need to do is let the moderators know which it is, they’ll get it up for you.  It’s an invaluable resource for sports fans who have no access to television.  There is no cable up here where I live, I am lucky to have spotty internet and even luckier to have dedicated associates streaming every hockey game I could dream to watch!

SNOW REPORT

We had a low snow year coming into February, only 8 feet had fallen.  By far not enough for us snowmobile enthusiasts.  However this month it’s absolutely been puking and once again you can walk on to the roof of my house, there’s that much snow.  What do you do when you get on that roof…well…you jump off into the deep powder below.  It’s softer than water!

As the snow piles up I would like to remind all sledders and back country skiiers to check the Canadian Avalanche Centre’s reports on line before heading out, make sure you have your beacons and are paying attention to the warning signs of a slide.  The CAC reports that with the pineapple express weather forecasted that avalanche risks in BC are rated as extreme for the first time this year through most of the province.  There’s nothing more radical than riding your Arctic Cat straight up to the top of a mountain, but be aware where you are climbing and what you are doing.  I personally love risking my life, but in some cases the risk aint worth the reward.  Maybe it’s for the best that I still have repairs to do my 700 Ski Doo!

EI CUTS AN ATTACK ON WORKERS?

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/02/28/f-vp-hall-employment-insurance.html

Here’s some reading to consider.  At one time the government thought it was cool to attack those on welfare, then went after those on disability…but for the last year the Federal Tories have set their sights on Employment Insurance.  I can’t fathom how a government agency that operates on a surplus, which I pay into, would consider it right to visit peoples homes and threaten their income.  I live in a town of 200 people approximately 80km from the nearest communities.  A lot of people here rely on EI to get through the winters as there is always work in the summer but things quiet down.

So essentially if I lost my job EI might expect me to not only accept a much lower paying job but also require me to drive 160km every day down snowy twisting mountain highways to the nearest available jobs.  I would be expected to risk my life in order to provide less for my family.  Accepting the first job available to me regardless of what it pays would likely mean that I might miss an opportunity in my  field.  Taking my time to find the right job is why I have paid into EI for 15 years despite the fact that I have only collected THREE cheques to subsidize my family in that time.

If there was one issue that all the working people in Canada should grab on to and use to defeat the Tory government it ought to be this.  You would never see Stephen Harper accept a $12/hr job a week after he finaly gets booted out of parliament.  This undo stress that is put on families likely results in more instability and stress in the home, which does nothing good for our children.

THE LEAFS

I can’t even describe how hard the last two games against NY Islanders and MTL Canadiens were to watch.  The Leafs looked flat in both games despite Kadri’s hat trick and an over time win in New York.  I just hope that on Monday when I tune into streamhunter.eu to watch the Leafs take on the Devils that the four days of rest will result in more jump to the Leafs game.  Specifically what drives me crazy is that the Leafs appear to revert back to habits they had last year when they finished with a dismal record.

The key is skating, forechecking, aggression and not giving the puck away while trying to make pretty plays.  These are the aspects the Leafs have had when being successful this year…and are the things that drive me crazy to watch when the get away from it.  There was no emotion or energy to the Leafs game against the Islanders, not even one penalty.  The hitting wasn’t all that great and the pace of the game was slow.  If you can’t take it to the Islanders and hammer them there will be problems, after all the Islanders team doctors mostly specialize in treating depression!  The Islanders are a pretty soft team.  Let’s just hope the next few days allows the team to recouperate a little.

REFEREES FROM ANOTHER PLANET

That Montreal game needs a columb of its own, the Leafs were lucky to be tied 2-2 after two periods despite only registering 8 shots on goal by that point.  I think the game would have gone really different if the refs hadn’t made such an awful call on the Mike Brown hit on Josh Georges where they assessed a 5min major and a game misconduct.   The hit wasn’t from behind and clearly Georges turned to face the boards with the hope of drawing the penalty.  That put the Leafs down a skater and set them into defensive mode to start the 2nd period.  If that call wasn’t upsetting the poor drop of the puck that allowed the Canadians to score the game winning goal ought to have driven you to hysterics.

I don’t know what’s up with these refs.  So far this year I’ve seen them call back several Toronto goals that should have counted including one that would have tied the game with Boston and another that would have tied us with Carolina.  I’ve seen ejections, poor calls, missed off sides, icings that weren’t called and more.  The level of entertainment in hockey suffers when the refs just aren’t being the all-wise all-knowing types they are supposed to be.  That’s where the idea of the coaches challenge comes in which would allow a coach the chance to have 1 or 2 plays reviewed in a game.  This could be the best rule change in the NHL’s history of irrelevant rule changes and I hope it happens sooner than later.

After all the game is much faster now than it ever was.  If it is too fast for the refs to call it properly then maybe the NHL should allow more clutching, grabbing and holding and reinsert the dreaded red line.  At least the game might be a little slower and easier to call, and there would certainly be a percentage fewer concussions.