Israel Fights Swarms of Locusts

Maybe that’s God’s way of leading the Palestinians out of the promised land.  Maybe after the frogs and rivers of blood and the death of every first born child the Palestinians will finally escape.  Maybe then they’ll end up taking over Egypt after the Israeli Armed Forces are consumed by the Red Sea in dogged pursuit.  Maybe then Israeli’s will realize that they are NOT the chosen ones and learn to understand how dangerous that kind of thinking is.

Hugo Chavez Dies – Harper Gets Hammered

“At this key juncture, I hope the people of Venezuela can now build for themselves a better, brighter future based on the principles of freedom, democracy, the rule of law and respect for human rights,” Prime Minister Stephen Harper publicly stated.

What he didn’t publicly say was that he and his Conservative cronies were gonna party their arses off to celebrate what they considered to be great news, in fact he was probably already hammered.  Harper can’t wait for Venezuala to go back to an American backed military junta who squeezes the working class until they are squished into the pulp of absolute poverty.

Harper proves that he can’t resist the chance to take a shot at someone even after they die, it’s in his Conservative nature to make every thing he can a political opportunity.  He can’t just shut off that instinct to spew double speak, hand out rhetoric and rewrite history.  He is a true fascist, everything single thing is political to him if not for sale.

I juxtapose Harper to former Prime Minister Chretien, not because I liked the liberal leader but because it exposes the villainous thought patterns that consumes the current federal ruler.  What did Chretein say about Hugo Chavez?  He was qouted as saying Chavez was colorful and unusual.  That’s quite the political stab eh!  Chretein must have spent hours thinking that one over.

“Always Chavez tried to have normal elections. Some people would say it was not completely normal but it was much better than other countries that were officially communist,” Chretien said.

Wow, is Harper ever a bastard!  He can’t just let a guy die and say something benign, he has to politely trash everything the guy stood for because that guy happened to be a socialist leader.  Jean Chretein on the other hand says something nice even agreeing that Chavez’s influence was profound and important to Latin America.  The difference between the two Prime Ministers is ideological in it’s core, Chretein would try to see things for what they are whereas Harper would rather force opinion at every opportunity.  Anything with a taste of socialism to it is an enemy of the extreme right wing, there is no compromise and there is no democracy shaping their policy.  There never was.

The Tories are kinda like political locusts eating money, jumpin on everyone and are entirely incapable of listening or consider the merit of conflicting thoughts!  And…They are everywhere!!!  I’d rather have locusts than Tories.  I know what my quote will be if Harper dies prematurely.  It will sound like this, “At this key juncture, I hope the people of Venezuela…I mean Canada…can now build for themselves a better, brighter future based on the principles of freedom, democracy, the rule of law and respect for human rights.”


They may have a better hockey team…but Toronto is now winning in the population category.  As of today there are something like five less assholes in Chicago than Toronto.  Clearly Toronto is booming!  Toronto is now the fourth largest city in North America with 2.79 million inside it’s proper borders, but when you look at the GTA on the whole it’s a massive wide reaching smog choked abomination.  The only thing bigger than the GTA is that Star Wars city planet.

Regardless of how poorly designed the suburban districts are Toronto happens to be a fun city where you can get any kind of food you want at any hour of the day.  The difference isn’t lost on those who landed in Vancouver, went barhopping and could only find crappy pizza at 11:30 at night.  Vancouver will tell you what an awesome city it is, but it won’t feed you much after 8pm.

There are a lot of good things about the big smoke.  Toronto has never been attacked by locusts, giant animals, dinosaurs, aliens or terrorists.  It’s safer than Florida!


Russell Crowe posted a video on youtube this week that he claims is an alien UFO flying around his office in Australia.  Apparently he was disappointed that the aliens did not accept his challenge to come out and fight.  This is the same Russell Crowe who was rescued by the coast guard, who fights people on the set of his films and tweets about circumcision.  This was the same Crow who claims to have been nearly killed while hanging with a crooked cop who made illicit street drugs so that he could ‘develop a character’ for a movie.  I guess getting high on ice could do that, could also make you see UFO’s eh Russel.  You fuckin whack job!    Every paparazi in the world has been stalking him to answer the biggest question of our times which is; why is Russell Crowe such an obnoxious asshole?


If you liked horse in your meat balls you’re gonna love their fecal infested almond cakes!?!  If IKEA can’t make quality furniture even though they are a distributor of such goods then why would anyone expect their food would be much better.  Strike TWO…let the recalls begin.


About joeyonly

Dr.Joey Only will knock you out...and do it with country music!!! HIYAAAAAA!! View all posts by joeyonly

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