FLORIDA SUCKS

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/03/01/florida-sinkhole-under-house.html

If you take the time to read the above quoted article you’ll learn how this dude was just sitting in his bedroom down in Florida when suddenly the earth opened up swallowing him and much of his house.  This is nothing new, in dudes county alone there’s been more than 500 sink holes since records were kept in 1954.  Florida is one of the heaviest developed states but is geologically highly dangerous, if you were to google images for ‘Florida Sink holes’ you would find dozens of images of destroyed houses.  This happens all the time.

As I sit here in the Cariboo Mountains today amidst the 5th consecutive day of snowfall I take some comfort in stories like this.  People from Florida would think I am nuts to love living at mountain elevation enduring 6 months of winter at minimum and the heaviest snowfalls on the planet.  Sure, it’s not 90 degrees every day and there’s no bikini contest happening right now up here but we learn to deal with the winter enjoying our quiet, our low crime rates, our relatively benign weather and the relatively safe societal conditions we enjoy.

Consider what it must be like to live under the threat of catastrophic hurricanes every second year, the most lightning strikes per capita on the planet, a murder rate that makes Regina look like pacifist central, tornadoes eating houses, alligators eating children, sharks eating children, embarrasing sports franchises and now we can add to the list SINK HOLES that can eat houses and children too?  I think more Canadians are murdered in Florida than in Winnipeg.  What else is going on down there that we don’t know about?  If the notion that Florida is paradise is obviously a lie created to protect their tourism industry then what else aren’t they telling us.?  I mean….Isn’t Florida where the terrorists learned to fly airplanes?  With all those senior citizens the rate of heart attack, madness, slow line-ups and bad driving must be through the roof.

Speaking of bad driving…my friend Dwight Scott Wolf, a Prince George radio personality, just reminded me about the International Drivers Liscence Canadians must pay for now when they drive in Florida.  It’s a tax grab that can’t possibly encourage Canadians to want to drive as a means of travel to get to Florida.  Add one more hazard to visiting Florida, getting arrested for not having a SECOND driver’s liscence…cause one liscence isn’t enough.  Who are these money grabbing people in the Department of Transport and what are they up to? They appear to be experts in un-safety, they themselves know wha a dangerous state they live in!

The Florida Department of Transportations website claims that some of the hazards of living in Florida also include wildfire, floods, dam failures, heat wave, drought, cold, earthquakes, chemical spills, terrorism, radiological emergencies and also lists ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE?  I didn’t make this up, go see for yourself (http://www.dot.state.fl.us/emergencymanagement/hazards/hazards.shtm) and it’s linked to the Centre For Disease Control’s website!  Zombie Apocolypse?  WTF?  No one mentioned that on those convincing commercials that have contributed Canadians shelling out thousands for a day at Disney World!  Maybe we have eight feet of snow on the ground but there’s no fuckin zombie apocolypse and no sink holes slurping down my home.

In light of this latest sinkhole disaster I have to conclude that FLORIDA SUCKS.  I’ll stay right here and save my money.

 

FOOT NOTE:  Two days after this blog was published two Toronto senior citizens were found murdered in Florida!!  DOWN WITH FLORIDA! 

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/03/06/toronto_snowbirds_pichosky_and_wise_asphyxiated_in_condo_florida_police_reveal.html

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About joeyonly

Dr.Joey Only will knock you out...and do it with country music!!! HIYAAAAAA!! View all posts by joeyonly

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