I Recommend Everyone Should See Them
…in no particular order, of course…
by Doctor Joey Only
1.Star Wars (1977)
It’s a movie about Rebel Forces fighting the most powerful Empire in the galaxy, those radical rebels, you have to love them. I love the way the old Star Wars movie plays out. It’s a lot slower in every respect to modern day space movies. It’s theatrical and it’s not cheesey like th newest episodes were. The ships fly slower, the plot unfolds slower and I like that…the newest movies gave me seizures. Even Empire and Jedi were more hectic in their pace. The one thing I still can’t believe is how many people have never watched the original Star Wars. It’s been a big part of my life! I remember the first time they aired Star Wars on TV…it was a big deal, everyone gathered around their TV’s and watched it together. Then when Star Wars stopped being a huge hit I managed to buy dozens and dozens of the toys from yard sales. The only drawback to the toys really was that their arms didn’t move around at the joints the way GI JOE’S do.
2.RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK
It was too bad that they made the newest installment of Indiana Jones. It wasn’t even that it was a terrible movie, the premise wasn’t that bad. It was just things like the scene where the Atomic Bomb blows and somehow Jones survives in a flying fridge. The very first Jones movie was so damn good, fighting Nazi’s and digging in the desert. It was comic book action heroism at its best, and the ending is unbeatable…you know, the part where all the Nazi’s faces melted off!
3.THE BLUES BROTHERS
Speaking of fighting Nazi’s the original Blues Brothers had one of the best rivalries with the fascists that a musical comedy had ever witnessed. I loved when the Nazi’s were on the bridge protesting and the Blues Brothers say, “I hate the fucking Illinois Nazi Party.” The thing about the Blues Brothers is that it’s not very funny when you watch the made for TV version. They cut all the funny swearing out, and it was the swearing that really made this movie funny cause of the way they talked. Another highlight of this movie was that it holds the record for most cop cars ever destroyed. To top it all off, the cast is incredible…everyone from Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Cab Calloway, Ray Charles and John Lee Hooker appear in it.
4.RAMBO – FIRST BLOOD
The Rambo series took a turn for the worse which is why many people never give First Blood the chance it deserves. A Vietnam Veteran loses his shit, kills a cop and some police dogs, hides in the bush, takes on everyone and eventually goes in to town and trashes the whole place before having a complete emotional breakdown and crying and sobbing about what he experienced in the war…but also how he couldn’t hold down a job at a gas station in America when he used to be in charge of million dollar equipment. For anyone who likes stories of survival First Blood is the best of all. It was filmed in Hope British Columbia where there’s still a monument and museum to the movie. The town Rambo trashes is HOPE, a place I have been dozens and dozens of times, it’s really recognizeable when you see the movie and it makes the final scene just so much more awesome to see Hope get blown to peices.
5.JERMIAH JOHNSON
In this classic movie Robert Redford decides to be a mountain man but he isn’t too good at it in the beginning. But he learns the ways of the mountains, takes himself a Flathead Indian wife and adopts a child from a crazy woman against his will and builds a home in the mountains. But the US Cavalry forces him to guide them through the mountains which angers the natives when they pass through their graveyards. In return the kill Jeremiah’s wife and child and he responds by fighting every last Crow he can find. Everytime I watch that movie I wish that I could have been alive back then to go become a mountain man myself.
6.CLEARCUT
This Canadian film takes place in Ontario where the natives are fighting this logging company. The story takes a weird turn when Graham Greene, who plays a Whindigo like character, captures the companies CEO and the natives lawyer. He takes the CEO back into the bush and tortures him until he SEE’S the reality of what he is doing to the land and the people. Some cops are shot and in the end the lawyer kills Graham Greene. It’s a really hard movie to find anywhere, but if you can get ahold of it be sure to watch the whole damn thing. One of the final scenes takes place in Oimet Canyon in northern Ontario…the very same canyon I once had sex on the observation platform cause we thought we were the only people in the park and I managed to shoot a cumshot right off the 400 foot high cliff edge…and then was caught about 20 seconds later by a very square young Christian couple who didn’t think what we were up to was very cool.
7.THE LIFE AND HARD TIMES OF GUY TERRIFICO
The steel guitarist of the Outlaw Band’s close friend Mike wrote and directed this mocku-rockumentary about a Canadian Outlaw country hero. It features Kris Kristopherson, Merle Haggard, George Strombolopoulous, Colin Linden, Ronnie Hawkins, Levon Helm, Jim Cudd and more. You never seen a movie, except perhaps the DOORS, with so much drug and alcohol abuse. Levon Helm denied ever being a part of the movie saying he had no memory of the interview, likey cause he was trashed with Michael Mabbott. It’s a Canadian made movie, it’s hilarious and features the Nashville incident which is a priceless peice of comedy!
8.LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY
What is there to say about this movie other than hurry up and get filming the Hobbit. I can barely wait! Seeing the third movie on the big screen was almost the coolest thing I had ever had the privilege to witness. I often thought that Sauron reminded me of Dick Cheney and Sauruoman resembled the spirit of George W. Bush.
9.AVATAR
It might be cheesey to have picked this movie, it’s not really a classic yet but it sure ought to be. I seen it on the IMAX screen in 3D, and it blew my friggin mind. The special effects and imaginative scenery are beyond comprehension…but the story is pretty good too. It’s a really decent take on colonialism and in my opinion reflects the story of how Europeans conquered native people’s lands justifying their actions the whole time with faulty logic and a bigotted attitude. I really can’t think of a better movie that’s come out in the last few years! In my mind the granduer and the epic battles are comparable to how amazing Lord of the Rings actually was. I just hope the sequels don’t fuck it all up!
10.PRINCESS MONONOKE
This cartoon is so stunning and breathtaking. It’s Japanimation at its finest. The imperial pigs are destroying all the spiritual powers in nature. There’s struggle between the good forces of nature, demons and civilization which has just begun to use gunpowder. I managed to buy this movie off the street in the downtown eastside only find out that the version I grabbed happened to be in Japanese only. So if you can avoid making that mistake, as I hate reading subtitles, you will find it to be a movie full of meaning! The plot is thick and the cast of voices in the American version includes that arrogant Canadian hating jerk Billy Bob Thorton, Gillian Anderson, Jada Pinkett Smith and more.
11.FOR A FEW DOLLARS-GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
What a great trilogy. It’s Clint Eastwood playing the man with no name wandering the west and making himself rich by pitting everyone against each other, collecting rewards, fooling people and being an all around wild western scum. It’s really based on Kurosawa’s 1950’s classic Japanese movie called The Seven Samarai. It’s a spaghetti western where the swords have been replaced by six shooters, yet the same codes of ethics and same ideas of conflict are found throughout much in the same way the samarai’s would have understood them to be.
12.TOP SECRET
It’s Val Kilmer as a cheesey rock star who goes to a Berlin that isn’t distinguishable between Soviet or Nazi rule. He joins the resistance and helps Dr.Flammond foil the German plans to destroy the entire NATO submarine fleet. Much in the same way that movies like Airplane tried to make every single scene, every sentence and every image hilarious…this movie is non-stop silliness but in the context of a rock and roller who fights a fascist dictatorship in East Germany. The music isn’t that bad either, Kilmer can really sing!
13.APPOCOLYPSE NOW
This is one tripped out movie based on the novel THE HEART OF DARKNESS but it takes place in the Vietnam War rather than British controlled Africa. Colonel Kurtz has lost it out the wilderness somewhere tired of the hypocrisy he was to defend in the US Government. Martin Sheen must make his way up this river to his hideout and kill Kurtz. It’s a real horror show about the war and is done well, it drags on really long but it isn’t boring. The best spinoff I ever saw of it was on MAD TV called A PACK OF GIFTS NOW, which is a claymation version starring Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the little Elf from that 1950’s tv movie they show every Christmas. Colonel Kurtz is replaced by Santa Clause who mutters at his death, ‘the horror, the ho ho horror.’
14.SPARTACUS
Every radical has to see this movie. It’s where Spartacus gets tired of being a slave and one day liberates all his fellow Gladiators, builds and army of slaves and takes on Rome itself. The whole movie is full of amazing liberatory quotes and the love story is amazing…right up to the part where they crucify Spartacus and 15,000 other rebels. At least Spartacus gets to see his wife and new born child one last time from the cross. Even though they kill him Spartacus probably does not regret waging a total war against the Roman slave system.
15.STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
People are inclined to dismiss Star Trek as second rate or cheesey science fiction…but the Wrath of Khan is the sort of movie anyone can get behind. Khan seeks revenge on Captain Kirk and in his madness manages to kill Spock. Ricardo Montablon is awesome as Khan full of amazing quotes and absolutel hysterical hatred and madness. Clearly there is no reasoning with Khan and Kirk nearly loses everything to destroy him. From the time I first seen this movie on TV as a kid I knew it was something special, it’s a very dark film in many ways.
16.ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST
Jack Nicholson pushes all of Nurse Ratchets buttons until he is eventually given so much electro-shock therapy, drugs and a lobotomy that there is nothing left of his former self. The big Chief kills him and free’s himself. There has never been a movie that exposes the mental health and institution system for what it truly was historically, a torturous and evil machine.
17.SLAPSHOT
This is the best sports movie of all time, it takes place in the 70’s during the era of brawling hockey. As the story goes, the town’s mills are shutting down which prompts the teams owner to shut the team down. The team will do anything it can to win, sell tickets and save the team but without success. It really shows the machismo behind sports and the wickedness of penny pinching ownership who will sell out anything they can to make a dollar. The movie ends with one of the most homo-erotic sequences in sports movie history. I love it, and I love the fighting!
18.KILL BILL VOLUME 1 AND 2
Pure bad ass, a movie solely about revenge and murder. It’s a woman who kicks ass hard for over three hours. It’s well choreographed and plays on the 70’s kung-fu craze that was on television.
19.THE SHINING
The scariest movie ever made. Jack Nicholson is awesome and Stanley Kubrick is one of the greatest directors of all time.
20.A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
Stanley Kubrick exposes the prison system, the cops, the psychiatric system and people’s tendency to be attracted to violence. I’m sure you’ve seen it, if not, you might deserve a beating. The imagery is crazy, the music is psychadelic, everything is weird…it’s a great movie to watch on acid!
OTHER MOVIES WORTH WATCHING!!
WAR MOVIES: Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, Dr.Strangelove, Das Boot….All great movies that do not demonize the average soldier but certainly questions the establishment and the government for waging such senseless struggles.
MONTY PYTHON: Search For the Holy Grail, Meaning of Life, Life of Brian and more
These British satirists rip apart every thing they can imagine, they are politically aware comedians who just keep me laughing in stitches.
COMEDIES: Trailer Park Boys:Countdown To Liqour Day, Dragnet, Forest Gump, Wizard of Oz, Airplane, Beetlejuice, Canadian Bacon, The Great Rock and Roll Swindle, Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
HORROR: Nightmare on Elm Street:Part 1, Silence of the Lambs, The Birds, Resident Evil.
ACTION: Hero, District 9, Conan The Barbarian, The Dark Knight, Alien I-IV, Braveheart, Sin City, Gladiator, Die Hard movies, Robocop.
ADVENTURE: The Neverending Story, Back to the Future, ET The Extra Terrestrial, King Kong 1933.
DRAMA: American History X, The Green Mile, The 7th Seal, Sid and Nancy.
And yet more I am sure I will remember half an hour from now…there are so many great movies, I did my best to remember as many as I could…if any of these movies are ammong your favorites please leave me a comment…until next time, take er easy but take er.
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