Definition of Bad Room-mates

by Dr.Joey Only

My friends, you may not even have considered it but you might be living with bad room-mates.  Maybe you are just naive and overly friendly or way too forgiving and it hasn’t actually dawned on you yet that the people you live with are bad room-mates.  Below is a series of tips that might help you identify whether or not your living situation is fuct up.


-They do not respect your space, go in to your room when you are not there and snoop through your stuff.  A case like this is even worse when they use things they find in your room to make judgements against you…or if they are caught having gone through your stuff they make no attempt whatsoever to apologize.  It shouldn’t have to be said that if they have stolen anything from your room that they are definitely bad room-mates.

-They never clean up after themselves, they do not mow the lawn or keep the place up in any way.

-Always late with rent or bills.

-Agree to change their behaviors at house meetings but make it clear very soon after that they have no intention of honoring their agreements.

-Talk shit behind your back and act friendly to your face.

-Stick their nose into your business even though it really has nothing to do with them whatsoever.

-They do not recognize your need for peace so you can rest, relax or sleep to be ready for work.

-Leave annoying notes all the time around the house to you because they are too afraid to say anything to your face.  Really what I am getting at is any sort of passive aggressive behavior.

-They take 20 minute long showers every morning, then do their make-up and run blow dryers in the bathroom…which is either effecting your sleep or not allowing you to go into the bathroom so you can pee.

-They jump on the hood of a taxi-cab in front of your house and yell and scream and make such a scene that all of your neighbours come out of their houses with their cell phones all dialing 911.

-They’re drug addictions and crazy dealings brings police surveillance down on your house so that every time you try to walk down the road cops stop you and talk to you.

-They get thrown into jail and then all their junk is still in your house and you have to deal with it.

-They don’t take the garbage out.

-They are lying to their girlfriends and you know all about it, but you are too nice to say anything to their girlfriend…meanwhile she is a total bitch to you all of the time and treats you like dirt without realizing you could crush her world and break her heart by telling her the truth about her fucked up partner.

-They take people in and let them stay on the couch for a few days, but those few days elongate into an entire month which ends with you nearly having a fist fight on the lawn with the unwanted guests.

-They are having a mental breakdown and in the process they eat 25 hits of acid, then spend every morning downstairs screaming and crying and making a huge scene with anyone who tries to help them.

-They are an American who jumped bail ten years ago and has been secretly living in Canada under a different alias while trying to avoid a twenty year sentence in the US…which also implicates you possibly as an accomplice.

-They try to come between you and your lover or any other of your friends, play you against each other and create problems in your personal life.

-Their drinking gets out of control and you have to deal with all the problems this creates.

-They are physically threatening you, or in one case they actually promise to burn your house down.

-They show absolutely no respect for you, especially when you are the lease holder and you have only kept the house together because of some foolish inability to let go and move on…or because you didn’t want to force everyone out of the house.

-They eat your food, but what’s worse is when they eat the last of something you really like…say your favorite brand of cereal is empty when you knew there was at least two bowls left.

-They are maliciously playing games with your head to mind-fuck you.


-Make no attempt to clean up any of the messes they have made while you are gone.  Worse case scenario is when every dish in the house is dirty, mold is growing in the sink, empty liqour bottle litter the place and food is rotting in the fridge that should have been thrown out a long time ago.

-No attempt has been made to keep up with bills in your absence.


These are just a few of the things I have endured while living at 3006 East Georgia in Vancouver British Columbia.  It was because of all these things, plus much more that we finally came to the logical conclusion that it is time to move out of our home.  You see, cheap rent is not a good enough reason to put yourself through hell year after after.  Having a large yard and a house you can jam in is not a good enough reason to deal with the bullshit that other people bring into your life.

I hope you have found this helpful…I hope that you have found none of the above statements to be true for your household…but if you are living in a situation where these sorts of things are happening that you do the right thing and just get the fuck out before it ruins you.


About joeyonly

Dr.Joey Only will knock you out...and do it with country music!!! HIYAAAAAA!! View all posts by joeyonly

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: