An interview of Dr.Joey Only on his social theories by world renowned physicist Dr.Stephen Hawking that took place on April 13th 2010 via Skype phone.
DR.STEPHEN HAWKING: My underlying question to you Dr.Only is on the nature of hobophobia. Can you explain what a hobophobic person does by first explaining your definition of a Hobo.
DR.JOEY ONLY: Absolutely Dr.Hawking. I’m not entirely sure what the Websters or Oxford dictionary definition of a Hobo truly is. It’s very early I am too stoned to bother looking it up. I think my own practical definition is as probably close to correct as could be…not to mention that my experiences of hoboing around the country would qualify me as an expert in the subject. A hobo is a wandering person without the resources to wander from behind the wheel of their own car. So a hobo would hitch hike to travel or perhaps hop on a freight train. I think something like .05% of all hobos steal a car, but usually this is more for joyriding than for traveling. Generally as a matter of principal hobos are most likely to steal from a corporate chain store (like Walmart) and stick to thieving smaller things like dogfood so as to avoid the horrors of confinement by the law. Some hobos do have homes, but a hobo is most likely to rarely be in the same city as that home…much less the same province or state.
So a hobo is a little different than your typical bum found laying on his filthy face on the sidewalk by your house, completely smashed off of only three extra strong beers. A bum is usually too physically or psychiatrically too fucked up to ever grind through the 40 hour work week that the average citizen in good standing suffers through. A real hobo is generally capable ofworking but is too damn smart to trade their life away for the insanity that most people call careers.
DR.STEPHEN HAWKING: But you consider hobophobic behavior to have a more broad definition which includes all homeless people and yet more?
DR.JOEY ONLY: Absolutely Dr.Hawking. Hobophobes are terrified of anyone or anything that even remotely reminds them of homelessness and poverty. They are scared of shelters, beggars, buskers. addicts, the unemployed, bums. hobos, street punks, gangs and yet more.
DR.STEPHEN HAWKING: What does a hobophobe do with this rage and fear?
DR.JOEY ONLY: Hobophobes start small, the begin by saying redundant things out loud in the public sphere such as ‘get a job’ or ‘I pay my taxes and lah-dee-dah-dee-dah!’ A little while later they graduate to vandalism and start carving slogans into the bathroom stalls at bus stations in places like Fredericton New Brunswick such as, ‘all fags must die.’
They fail to see the absurdity of their own life. They think that because they have a full time job such as a security guard, mechanic or police officer (or whatever) that they are somehow better people than the drunken hobo before them.
This delusionary thinking can in extreme cases lead to a vicious beating of a defenseless old beggar at 3AM. But generally speaking they engage in more socially acceptable forms of hatred toward the poor such as voting for a Conservative political party…or in extreme cases…they join a Conservative party or get a job as a right wing pundit on some biased news media organization. From this place of power they support anti-poor laws that often create more poverty and homelessness and continue on by passing laws that punish the hobos they’ve created and often jail them. This socio-pathic behavior is common and widely accepted in Canada.
Conservatives typically attack the institutions that the poor rely on such as Employment Insurance and welfare. They change housing regulations and almost always increase the number of evictions in their region. The best example is of Ralph Klein who lowered welfare for $420/month and kept the minimum wage down close to $6 in the first years of this century while acting as premier of Alberta. Then Ralph Klein got completely loaded on high end alcohol and stumbled into a homeless shelter and yelled at everyone to get jobs, even though his own career choice is parasitic in nature. For this and many more abominations Ralph Klein was rewarded by being the most popular leader in the history of Alberta.
DR.STEPHEN HAWKING: So what is the link between homo and hobo-phobia? Does it have any relation to incidents like gay men picking up young hitch hiking boys on a dark country road?
DR.JOEY ONLY: I think you are confused Dr.Hawking. When I was a hitch hiker I found that gay men picked me up because they wanted to suck on my cock, in most cases they wanted to do the sucking and all I was supposed to do was ejaculate. This one guy offered me $50 in Whitby Ontario once to suck my cock, but he was really wretchedly gross and old and I am not inclined to even have good looking men suck my cock…not usually for even $50.
DR.STEPHEN HAWKING: Okay, I asked the question incorrectly. What is the link then Dr.Only?
DR.JOEY ONLY: It is bigotry which links homo and hobo-phobia. Bigots are scientifically proven to be complete and utter assholes who think in black and white terms. Because they do not like black people either they mostly think in white terms…white alpha male thought patterns. Sometimes even women and chinese businessmen can stoop to subscribing into this moronic and base sociopathic mentality.
They hate the poor, and if you hate the poor you are likely inclined to unreasonably hate a host of other things. You are most likely to be sexist/mysoginist, racist, homophobic and more. The exception is the rising class of the Gaygeoisie who are typically financially successful fags who can’t remember where they came from such as BC Liberal MLA Lorne Maynecourt. Maynecourt is widely hated in the queer community for his right wing belief system and he probably hates himself too deep down.
If only all traitors and sellouts would do the honorable thing like Judas Iscariot and hang themselves in a tree. Though in one book of the Bible it insists that Judas did not commit suicide rather he was struck down by the hand of God so that his guts and bowels exploded or something. I guess in Lorne Maynecourt’s case either outcome would be acceptable.
Anyway, Jesus loved the poor….and God does NOT hate fags!! God hates spam e-mail, canned spam and Tiger Woods!
p.s. Joey Only has never met Stephen Hawking…